Publish date: April 2016
I’m very honest on social media, yet I’ve never shared something like this before. I don’t know how you all will respond to this post. I am breaking out of my comfort zone by sharing this in hopes of teaching a life lesson along the way.
When I was ten I lost a special person in my life. That special person was my mom. My mom was a person who struggled long and hard with depression, and ultimately lost her battle against it.
Her death greatly affected me. I put walls up and I barricaded myself. For years I lived in a constant state of depression, and it prevented me from being who I really am.
Don’t get me wrong, I was a very functioning depressed person. It was so subtle that no one ever noticed. I still had my moments of happiness, of achievement, of strength and of love. But even while I was out living my life, I always knew I was slightly removed. I always knew there was something missing. I always knew I wasn’t fully present.
Then the time came where I began my yoga journey. As I learned and expanded in my practice I began to see myself. I began to turn inward. I saw myself for who I was, a depressed person, for the very first time. And then the walls came crumbling down.
When that happened everything began to change. I no longer accepted being depressed as my constant state of being. I no longer wished to live a mediocre life. I no longer felt persuaded to live in fear. And I no longer wanted to be anything less than my authentic self, which is a being of love.
Depression is not something that just magically goes away. It’s a give and take, a constant effort. I choose every day to keep it and it’s negativity out of my consciousness, and the shift has been well worth it. I am a happier, more caring, more connected being because of it.
In my experience, choosing to no longer let depression control your life is the first step toward healing. I send love and support to anyone dealing with depression or any other type of mental illness. It can be so easy to hide from the world and let a mental illness control you, but I promise it can be overcome if you choose to overcome it. I hope that my story can inspire you and lead to positive change. Because all I want is for the world to be a better place and that starts with the minds of the people within it.
Check out an article I wrote for Elephant Journal to learn more about coping with suicide.